Better Living Through Chemistry?

I bet you're wondering what this post is about.  And maybe you've noticed I'm slacking in the posting department overall?  Yeah, I'm sick.  I've had a cold all weekend.  But that's not the worst of it.  Our kitchen sink is totally clogged.  We've been doing dishes in our bathtub for several days now.  To unclog the drain, we've tried everything.  One of our last ditch efforts to avoid calling a plumber involved Liquid Plumr.

When that didn't work, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I went to the basement, unscrewed the vent on the drain pipe and WHOOSH, gallons and gallons of nasty water and Liquid Plumr hit me square in the face and soaked me head to toe.  In my shock, some of that crap went into my mouth and I was pretty sure I'd swallowed it.  I immediately felt whoozy and we panicked and loaded the whole family into the van for a quick trip to the emergency room.

Michael had the brilliant idea of calling poison control on the way there.  He got someone and put me on the phone with her.  The very nice lady at Poison Control then proceeded to talk me down and soon we were turning around and heading back home.  From what I described to her, I was only feeling an adrenaline rush and had not swallowed enough chemicals (and who knows what else!  Yuck!) to do any real damage.  I went home and drank a small glass of milk, as instructed.  I then took a nap on the chaise while Michael went downstairs to extract revenge upon the evil drain pipe.  Sadly, he must have compacted the clog, because it still won't drain.  I can't cook because I can't wash dishes and I feel miserable.  I'm gonna take some NyQuil, now.  Nighty-night.  Hey, at least it wasn't the toilet drain pipe, right?